Light as a Feather… let’s play a game

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My paranormal YA book is being featured on Wattpad right now, and as part of the feature we’re playing a little online game of Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.  As much as I loved the role of storyteller within the game when I was a kid, it’s a challenge coming up with more than twenty weird ways for someone to die every day. I try to stay away from predictions that are a little too possible. Back in the days when my friends and I would play the game at slumber parties, half of the fun of the game was that the storyteller would always try to crack everyone up with the absurdity of the death prediction. Killer clowns, angry bears, law mower accidents… these were the ways in which as middle-graders we all predicted we’d go. I found this really cool site that details 350 actual, horrible ways to die. I am a Tycho Brahe fan and had no idea that his bladder had burst! I feel for him, as I feel for the poor gent who laughed himself to death watching The Goodies.

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If you loved the game, check out the ongoing fun happening at Wattpad. If you dare, you can ask Hannah Simmons to play the game with you, and enter to win a pair of new pajamas from Victoria’s Secret, a pizza, some Netflix, and a scary book – all the makings of a great slumber party.

5 Things that are Simply Not OK About This Heat

New York

Back in the day (when I was in college) it was not uncommon during the months of July and August for my friends and I, trapped like roaches in stifling New York City apartments without air conditioning, to call each other and have conversations like this:

“I’m totally naked standing in front of the fridge, and my head is in the freezer.” – friend

“Me, too.” – me

We would resort to barbaric techniques like standing under a cold stream of water in the shower in our pajamas, then lie down atop our cheap futon mattresses with fans blowing on us until our clothes were dry. Repeat.  We would avoid certain subway stations with extra-stultifying platforms. And my friends, I tell you, back in those days, it was NOT EVEN THIS HOT.

Here are 5 things that truly extra-suck about the 90+ degree temperatures in New York City this week.

1) When you realize that it’s cooler on the subway platform than it is on the street. That is like some kind of backwards-world/opposite-day scenario and it seriously messes with your mind.

2) When you get an iced coffee at Starbucks and before you even walk one block, all of the ice has melted and you’re basically drinking brown water.

3) Everyone takes the subway. Everyone. All those sporty people who sometimes walk or ride bikes abandon their athleticism and hog up more space on your train when you least want warm bodies in close proximity to you.

4) There are no available cabs, anywhere. No one will stop for you. I pity any woman going into labor on the streets of New York this week, because there ain’t no way anyone’s giving up their cool, air-conditioned ride to help a stranger.

5) Brown-outs. There was a minor one in my neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning today. Nothing is more heartbreaking than hearing your air-conditioner struggling to do its job on reduced power. Unless, of course, that’s happening at the same time as your fan won’t run, your cable modem has no juice, and your laptop battery is drained.

 

Stuff that really ought to stop

Annoyances

These are things in life that I would like to cease.

1)  The commercial for The Conjuring coming on TV when I’m home alone. Not cool, for real.

2) Neighbors shooting off fireworks in advance of July 4. During daylight hours. On weekdays.

3) This humidity.

4) Justin Bieber with the pet monkeys. Come on, man.

5) Men in my apartment building leaving excessive lint in the laundry room dryer lint traps. Lint causes fires, gentlemen. We all know that drying clothes creates lint and it’s not like women protect the secret of how to clean the trap like it’s the lost ark or something. Don’t play dumb. I’m tired of touching your lint!