TV Shows I Volunteer to Executive Produce

1.  The F Team

A reboot of the A-Team. A group of really shitty special ops guys bungle every assignment they’re given in the greater Los Angeles area.  The only casting requirement here is that Kathy Griffin must play Murdock. I think it would also be pretty great to see Jay Baruchel as a bumbling explosives expert.

2. Eugene Hwang: Food Poisoning Hunter

In a classic reality show format, a panel of personalities who serve as authorities on bad food experiences (my friend Spencer Wong, maybe Bourdain–what show wouldn’t benefit from a little Anthony Bourdain? maybe Johnny Weir because why not?) challenge my young friend Eugene to eat the most disgusting dishes in the dirtiest, C-rated dining establishments in NYC. There’s no gamification element here; we just wait and watch Eugene suffer.  This is a show that probably only my friends would truly enjoy, but it would be ridiculously easy to produce since it’s a slice of our daily lives.

3.  Tha Hood

This is a reverse concept show based on Diff’rent Strokes. A rich white dude dies and his spoiled brat kids go live with their family’s black maid and her kids in Crenshaw.  All joking aside, I actually wrote a pilot for this situation comedy and won tickets to a weird event at which I met Robert Smigel and Norm MacDonald told me all about his pee saved in bottles when I bummed a cigarette off him. Truth.  I couldn’t even make up the kind of stuff that happens in LA.

4. Situation: California

A nuclear reactor has some kind of scientificky malfunction on the coast of California (just like in Japan) and a weird zombie-like virus infects all of the residents who were exposed to the radiation. The US government seals off the state to prevent the infection from spreading, and those who are trapped within state boundaries have to battle zombies as well as other survivors for power. Think Point Break meets World War Z with a dash of Private Practice and a hell of a lot of guns.

5. Chance and the Big Guy

Chance Munroe, a down-on-his-luck, aging bit part actor in LA, teams up with his college roommate, a divorced single dad living in his ex-wife’s basement, to make a living as bounty hunters.  The first time I started half-heartedly writing a pilot for this, I thought, no one will ever want to see a 1-hr drama about two unsuccessful guys trying to get money. Now, after the wild success of Breaking Bad, I’m not so sure about my original hypothesis!

Published by zoe aarsen

i am an illustrator, a cat herder and an all-around troublemaker residing in los angeles. i write and read stories about scary things.

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