zoe aarsen

Little Known Facts About New York

If you live in New York, you may not be aware of these true facts. 1) Only two of your four stove top burners will work in any apartment built before 1980. If your apartment has one of those mini ovens, then only one or zero of your burners will function. 2.) None of yourContinue reading “Little Known Facts About New York”

6 Train Blues

It fascinates me that the 6 Train in New York always — always — smells like urine. No matter what time of day, or which day of the week. How is there so much urine? Who are these anonymous pee-ers?

I love your pets more than I love you

One weird thing (among many) about me is that I never forget anything about anyone’s pets. If we meet on the street and you let me meet your dog, every subsequent time I see you on the street, I will remember your dog’s name and that she’s five years old and that you adopted herContinue reading “I love your pets more than I love you”

Weird Dinners I Have Recently Eaten

1. 1 can of tuna with an entire avocado, lemon juice and black pepper 2. String cheese and pretzels 3. Pecan gelato, a peanut butter-flavored protein bar and Laughing Cow red wax blob of cheese 4. Whole wheat crackers and hummus 5. 2 containers of plain Chobani yogurt, 1/3 pound of grilled salmon I thinkContinue reading “Weird Dinners I Have Recently Eaten”

My 10 favorite Beastie Boys’ songs, and why

Sometimes, I look around at my life and I’m genuinely stupefied that I’m a New Yorker. It takes a lot to get by in this city, after all, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And it’s perhaps the understatement of a lifetime to say that the music of the BeastieContinue reading “My 10 favorite Beastie Boys’ songs, and why”

Flowers, arranged by best-smelling to worst-smelling

1) lilacs 2) jasmine 3) carnations 4) honeysuckle 5) gardenia 6) roses 7) orchids

Things that make me laugh

Here are a few things that make me laugh, no matter how dour my mood might be: 1) ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS I was made aware of this blog by my friend Elizabeth Bales, who is also a novelist. It is undeniably hilarious and written by a guy who is probably an alcoholic namedContinue reading “Things that make me laugh”